Last week I found myself sitting on my couch in tears. It had been rough couple of days with my children and I was completely exhausted. I found myself in the same emotional place millions of us mothers have and will find ourselves. It was bitter sweet. I realized that I have dedicated my whote ENTIRE life to my children. I felt a little selfishly bitter because I felt like every fiber of my being was absorbed in raising a family and I had somehow lost my own identity. I felt I had lost all time for myself to cultivate any of my interests. Yet, it was so purely sweet because at that same moment I realized I have become the person I always wanted to be... a mom. To be a mom takes your whole heart and a lot of sacrifice. Anyone can go through childbirth and have a baby. However, not everyone chooses to be a "mother" or a "mom" which means loving your children with every ounce you are made of, and sacraficing anything, or everything for that matter, in the world for their happiness. Please know that I do sympathize with those of you who desperately would love to have children but may not be able to conceive or carry a baby. There are other ways you will affect for good children because of the love you are able to show towards them. I thank you for that and my heart goes out to you in your own circumstances.
As I sat there, crying and working my way through things while talking it out with my sympathetic husband, it was then I realized something, in a way I had never realized it before. I come from a family of eight children. My husband comes from a family of four (a brother lived only a week). It was then and there that I realized I am 1/8 of my own mother's entire life. She gave up everything for all 8 of her "babies". Cortney is 1/4 of his mother's entire life. She gave up everything for her four children. No matter what the part (1/8th or 1/4th) they are equal parts. Our mothers have and continue to give every part of themselves to us. So unselfishly.
I do not and never will regret having children. It is the best thing that I have ever done. What seemed like a heartache at the time was a true emotion. I am sure all mothers feel this way... probably often. But what I realized is that I am earning my own right to be known as "mother" and to link arms with millions of mothers around the world who love their children and sacrifice as they do. I hope that some day my daughter will choose to become a mother. There is no greater calling and no greater blessing.
As a side note... this doesn't mean we should just give up. We need our "outs" and our "breaks". You mom's deserve to have that pedicure, that new outfit, that new family friendly car for that matter... whatever it is. I am just proud to have joined the ranks beside you.
To my own mom... I just want to say thank you with all of my heart. I am who I am because of you. And to my dad, I love you too and you helped mold the person I am. You have sacraficed as well. Mommies just seem to let motherhood over-run their life. And you know, I guess that is a good thing.
To my husband... you are wonderful. Thankyou for giving me the breaks I have needed since that breakdown. And thank you for being my sidekick in raising our children. You are an amazing father. I love you so much.
As I sat there, crying and working my way through things while talking it out with my sympathetic husband, it was then I realized something, in a way I had never realized it before. I come from a family of eight children. My husband comes from a family of four (a brother lived only a week). It was then and there that I realized I am 1/8 of my own mother's entire life. She gave up everything for all 8 of her "babies". Cortney is 1/4 of his mother's entire life. She gave up everything for her four children. No matter what the part (1/8th or 1/4th) they are equal parts. Our mothers have and continue to give every part of themselves to us. So unselfishly.
I do not and never will regret having children. It is the best thing that I have ever done. What seemed like a heartache at the time was a true emotion. I am sure all mothers feel this way... probably often. But what I realized is that I am earning my own right to be known as "mother" and to link arms with millions of mothers around the world who love their children and sacrifice as they do. I hope that some day my daughter will choose to become a mother. There is no greater calling and no greater blessing.
As a side note... this doesn't mean we should just give up. We need our "outs" and our "breaks". You mom's deserve to have that pedicure, that new outfit, that new family friendly car for that matter... whatever it is. I am just proud to have joined the ranks beside you.
To my own mom... I just want to say thank you with all of my heart. I am who I am because of you. And to my dad, I love you too and you helped mold the person I am. You have sacraficed as well. Mommies just seem to let motherhood over-run their life. And you know, I guess that is a good thing.
To my husband... you are wonderful. Thankyou for giving me the breaks I have needed since that breakdown. And thank you for being my sidekick in raising our children. You are an amazing father. I love you so much.
